She makes her own money, has her own education, her own loft in the big city, her own business corporation. Anyone who would see her bronzed soft skin, silky caramel hair in a slim tight eggplant dress and black Christian Louboutin heels with her Dolce Gabbana shades would know she’s got it all on her own. She couldn’t be happier with the life she has and the amazing support from her family and friends. She’s loved by everyone and is known for being the happiest, smiling the most and just absolutely humble and grateful for everything she’s worked for and received.
But those city nights in her white, fully glassed loft, where she can hear all the cars and commotion if she just opened the windows, seemed to be the loneliest nights. Where she would feel that craving to be held, to have someone’s fingers brush through her hair and down her back, to have someone to watch Friends with at 2 in the morning with some wine, frustratedly laughing about how Rachel and Ross don’t simply allow themselves to be together & have what they have for one another. That love where they can look into each other’s eyes and feel at home. Like they are each others’ family and know every part of one another. How they chew, what their comfortable position is like when they fall asleep, how concentrated they get when they’re working, how many wrinkles they get on their eyes when they laugh and oh the joy it brings her to see that beautiful pearly white smile turn into an obnoxiously cute laughter.
Then she falls asleep and gets up at 6AM the next morning to go to work. She chooses the R8 Spyder for the day and pulls up to her parking space at work and begins the day all over again. Then he walks into her office with the paper work she needs to fill out and gives her the cold shoulder. When just last week he was laughing with her over their lunch break and talking about a funny movie they both watched over that weekend with a few friends. She doesn’t know if it’s her or if he must be secretly diagnosed with a bipolar disorder. But she chooses to try letting it go and knowing things will come at their own time, and if it isn’t him it will be the next. She chooses to realize her worth and how much she has on her own and all the people who already love and adore her for who she is. She chooses to not make herself look idiotic trying to be friends with him and hoping it would lead into something more. She knows he’d be the luckiest man in the world to have her and she is the luckiest woman in the world to have herself.